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Not even the magnificent George Clooney is immune to failure. And in this fact-based World War II–set drama, the Oscar winner crashes as an actor, director and cowriter of a woefully lazy script.
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The lack of ingenuity is obvious from the get-go. Clooney, who's grown into quite a versatile actor over the past decade, gives himself a role that he could phone in from his living room in Lake Cuomo. As professor Frank Stokes, he's simply quintessential Clooney: The charismatic and intelligent renegade leader with the gift of gab. Perhaps you might recognize him from his earlier work in ER,(Download The Monuments Men) Ocean's Eleven, Twelve and Thirteen, Up in the Air, The Perfect Storm, Gravity. . .In the opening moments, he persuades President Roosevelt — this is 1944, after the invasion of Normandy — to let him extract the rare sculptures and paintings seized by the Nazis.
He rounds up a merry band of art experts in a montage notable only for its familiarity. Yes, it's fair to say that Danny Ocean has ditched his Las Vegas crew and is heading to Europe with new misfits.Matt Damon is on board, along with Bill Murray, Hugh Bonneville, Bob Balaban, Jean Dujardin and John Goodman.(Download The Monuments Men) Certainly, the casting does not disappoint; the actors' effort level does. They all sleepwalk through their rote roles, hindered by the lack of characteristics differentiating them. Wait, that's not quite right. Balaban is the one constantly ribbed because he’s an old lightweight. Dujardin has a French accent. (The search party is still looking for Murray and Goodman, both last seen mumbling in the woods.)
Damon has the most to do, which is to say he's stuck with the bulk of the stale dialogue. A running gag about his inability to speak fluent French lands with a thud each time the goofy subtitles flash onscreen. He also strikes up an ill-conceived flirtation with Cate Blanchett's stuffy art curator/resistance leader.(Download The Monuments Men) Her character belongs in another movie entirely. The platoon recovers the treasures in clunky episodic sequences devoid of energy and suspense. (Does anyone doubt these pros are not going to ultimately unearth the vaunted, much-talked-about Madonna statue?) And though two Men die along the way, the casualties feel like an afterthought because Clooney never finds the right tone between jaunty caper and Serious War Film.
It's obvious to the eyes and the ears. In fact, the jolly musical score playing in the background after a scene in which a Nazi threatens violence is borderline offensive. A Nazi!Clooney, of course, has noble intentions. And he makes sure we're all very well aware of this. In voice-overs, his character constantly defends the mission, droning on and on about the importance of high culture in society.(Download The Monuments Men) That's fine. Just don't hold this picture up as an exhibit.In December I saw one of the best war movies, if not the best, ever made, Lone Survivor. So it’s poetic justice that the new year starts with me sitting through one of the worst war movies, if not the worst, ever made, The Monuments Men.
This is the true story, based on a book by Robert M. Edsel with Bret Witter, of seven men who became G.I.’s and were given the responsibility at the end of World War II of saving the huge treasure trove of great art that had been plundered by the Nazis.This could have been a terrific, exciting story. Unfortunately,(Download The Monuments Men) the script by George Clooney (who also directed) and Grant Heslov is so plodding, so unfocused, so full of trite lines, that it is nothing but a huge bore.Wow! That was a terrific, original line when it was first used, back around 1929 when they were still advertising films as “all singing, all dancing, all talkie.” How many times in succeeding years has this line, or an offshoot of it, been used? Didn’t it outlive its usefulness sometime well before Louis B. Mayer was sacked by MGM in 1950? But Clooney is so bereft of originality that he sticks it, and many more hackneyed lines like it, into the mouths of these A-list actors and they actually say them.
Wouldn’t you think that one would say, “Wait a minute. Unless this is a satire, I’m not going to say this line. Surely you can think of something better and if you tell me to stop calling you Shirley, I’m outa here!”When a story has a high concept premise, one that is easily understood like this one (Download The Monuments Men) (seven men try to save the great art of Europe from plunder and destruction), it can pull an audience based on the premise alone, as this film might. It sucked me in. I was actually looking forward to it. But as it progressed, it just kept getting worse and worse and worse.So this film stands as a stark example that a film cannot survive on a high premise alone. It still has to be executed with quality.
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Clooney’s direction is worse than his script, plodding and with incidents so contrived they boggle the imagination, like one scene near the end of the film that finds two of the G.I.’s in a field between two areas of forest containing Wehrmacht on one side and G.I.’s on the other that is beyond clumsy.(Download The Monuments Men) As we were exiting the screening my friend and I were discussing how bad the movie was when another critic was walking near us with her friend. She looked at us and asked, ”Was that horrible?” When we agreed, she said, “It was just horrible!” I couldn’t put it better.
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